Vicky Goes On (Again)

Month: Jul 2025

  • Delulu for Labubu

    I am sick of overconsumption. Not only because of the planet’s inevitable death under a pile of plastic but because it’s just bullshit.
    This all started winding me up with those Stanley Cups. I first heard about them and thought, ‘surely people aren’t going crazy over a Canadian Ice Hockey tournament.’ And I was right. People were going crazy over REUSABLE (please note the ‘reusable’) cups. I’ll admit, I own 2 water bottles. But one is bigger than the other and I use them. Both. OK, I gave the smaller one to the flatmate but he uses it. Sometimes.
    We’ve lived through so many fads (fidget spinners, scoubidous, Cabbage Patch Dolls, etc etc etc) but the Stanley Cup broke me and the Labubus are twisting the knife. Not only are those cups like £65 (not an exaggeration) but people were losing their minds collecting all of the colours, and then they buy bullshit accessories to add to them. A little cap, a tray, a pocket you can stick on the side. Then there are special ice cube molds for them, because heaven forbid you use regular ice cubes. Like a poor person.

    And now Labubus.

    demonic keyring capitalist nonsense

    Those are Labubus. And they are stupid. Look, I am not one to yuck someone’s yum but they’re just transparently addictive bullshit. Their USP is that they come in blind boxes, i.e. you don’t know which one you’re getting until you open it. That is so obviously a means to fuck with our addiction and dopamine sensors that I am sickened that people continue to fall for this. I can’t blame the companies. They are capitalist pigdogs who obviously want to make all of the money all of the time. I am sickened by the people falling for it. Time and time and time again.

    Innocent little guy

    When I first heard of the Labubu I thought people were talking about Moncchichi.

    Moncchichi was an innocent guy and now he’s tarred by this nonsense. Maybe he was at the beginning of this nonsense but at least there was none of the addiction high-jacking. You know where you were with this little guy.

    And the Labubu shit isn’t just about buying nonsense toys. On the one hand “they” want us to recycle and use paper straws and then on the other hand they’re selling us all this fucking shit and, the thing that really gets up my goat, WE FUCKING BUY IT.

    On the subject of recycling – I watched as a street sweeper emptied the recycling bin into the general waste bin and then put all that rubbish into one bigger bin. So, answer me: what the hell is any of this even for? Anyway, they put all the responsibility onto the consumer whilst BP spills oil in the oceans, whilst Thames Water pump literal sewage into UK waterways, whilst Chinese factories pump goodness knows what pollutants into the air and literally undoes any and all green efforts. All this and I have to drink out of a paper straw that disintegrates in liquid and Coca-Cola attaches their lids to the bottle so they don’t really close properly anymore. Well, guess what? I rip the lids off because ‘fuck it’.

    And please can we all stop going delulu over Labubus?

  • I can’t get no sleep

    For the last 2 mornings I have woken up at 04:30*. In the morning.
    Prior to this, I had been waking up at 05:30. In the morning. THE MORNING. I know it’s Summer but where will this end? Next week 03:30? Then just not sleeping at all!? I AM EXHAUSTED.

    And yes, I know, the heat, I need blackout blinds, I need sleeping pills. Go to bed earlier, later, wear an eye mask, glue my eyes closed. I know. I don’t even really have a lie-in on the weekends, you know. I think I’ve become deranged.

    Did you know that a lack of sleep can actually, literally kill you? Well, if you didn’t know now you know. Did you also know that a lack of sleep can make you fall asleep in a busy office? Ask me how I know… (this is a made up story for humour and entertainment purposes. I swear.)

    So. What do I do? ummmm…


    Sleep hygiene tips:

    • Ensure you go to bed at the same time every night
    • Don’t doomscroll on your phone in bed (shut UP)
    • Take at least 30 minutes to wind down before bed time -_-
    • Block out the windows with black paint
    • Take at least 4 sleeping pills every night
    • Drink some whisky or whiskey
    • some of these might not be all that helpful
    • I’m losing my marbles
    • Take a siesta during the day. This is a human right and I have Spanish genes so surely I am being discriminated against if I am denied this

    Anyway, good luck out there. I love you. I’m tired.

    *I use the 24 hour clock to avoid mistakes on alarms which I clearly no longer need.

  • Washing machines live longer with Vicky

    I’ve become a plumber.
    I haven’t retrained or anything but just call me Mario. My washing machine was being a bitch and I fixed it. And I only googled it twice.
    In my adult life I have become very aware that I am a practical person and I could be really proud of that but I am not. All this proves to me is, gurl I’m poor. When I first had a flatmate she thought that her lamp was broken. I asked, you’ve changed the bulb? (she gave me a look but you gotta start simple. My dad used to be a breakdown/rescue driver (had a truck. You know, can’t start your car? My dad will come pick it up or get it running again) and the number of times the solution was the customer needed fuel is astounding. Anyway, she had so good for her. I said, OK then maybe it’s the fuse.

    It was the fuse and I saved her from throwing out her lamp. And she has learned that fuses can blow and how to change them. Go us! I must add here, in her defence, when I was a kid electrical items were sold without plugs (because I’m from the Victorian Times? What? Why was this a thing?) so my dad taught me how to wire a plug. None of this makes sense. But I do have a skill.

    And what’s lamps got to do with plumbing? I’m getting there.
    I have a different flatmate. After years of living alone the solo dream is over and I now live in a nice flat. But the nice flat has a washing machine that decided it didn’t want to work. Well, guess what washing machine? I don’t want to work either but here we are. Anyway, it wouldn’t spin or drain and had clothes in it and WHAT THE HELL, MAN? I rang my brother and managed to drain, spin, and open the machine so OK great. But then this piece of shit wants to fill with water for no reason. Well. I refuse to back down to a machine.

    Anyway, I fixed it. It’s fixed. I’m a plumber. It’s all good. So, what I’m saying is: fixable things can be fixed by you. Yes, YOU. You can do it. If it’s fixable try to fix it yourself. Nowadays you don’t even need a Hayne’s Manual you can just google it and watch YouTube videos. See, the internet can be helpful still.