Vicky Goes On (Again)

Tag: capitalism

  • Delulu for Labubu

    I am sick of overconsumption. Not only because of the planet’s inevitable death under a pile of plastic but because it’s just bullshit.
    This all started winding me up with those Stanley Cups. I first heard about them and thought, ‘surely people aren’t going crazy over a Canadian Ice Hockey tournament.’ And I was right. People were going crazy over REUSABLE (please note the ‘reusable’) cups. I’ll admit, I own 2 water bottles. But one is bigger than the other and I use them. Both. OK, I gave the smaller one to the flatmate but he uses it. Sometimes.
    We’ve lived through so many fads (fidget spinners, scoubidous, Cabbage Patch Dolls, etc etc etc) but the Stanley Cup broke me and the Labubus are twisting the knife. Not only are those cups like £65 (not an exaggeration) but people were losing their minds collecting all of the colours, and then they buy bullshit accessories to add to them. A little cap, a tray, a pocket you can stick on the side. Then there are special ice cube molds for them, because heaven forbid you use regular ice cubes. Like a poor person.

    And now Labubus.

    demonic keyring capitalist nonsense

    Those are Labubus. And they are stupid. Look, I am not one to yuck someone’s yum but they’re just transparently addictive bullshit. Their USP is that they come in blind boxes, i.e. you don’t know which one you’re getting until you open it. That is so obviously a means to fuck with our addiction and dopamine sensors that I am sickened that people continue to fall for this. I can’t blame the companies. They are capitalist pigdogs who obviously want to make all of the money all of the time. I am sickened by the people falling for it. Time and time and time again.

    Innocent little guy

    When I first heard of the Labubu I thought people were talking about Moncchichi.

    Moncchichi was an innocent guy and now he’s tarred by this nonsense. Maybe he was at the beginning of this nonsense but at least there was none of the addiction high-jacking. You know where you were with this little guy.

    And the Labubu shit isn’t just about buying nonsense toys. On the one hand “they” want us to recycle and use paper straws and then on the other hand they’re selling us all this fucking shit and, the thing that really gets up my goat, WE FUCKING BUY IT.

    On the subject of recycling – I watched as a street sweeper emptied the recycling bin into the general waste bin and then put all that rubbish into one bigger bin. So, answer me: what the hell is any of this even for? Anyway, they put all the responsibility onto the consumer whilst BP spills oil in the oceans, whilst Thames Water pump literal sewage into UK waterways, whilst Chinese factories pump goodness knows what pollutants into the air and literally undoes any and all green efforts. All this and I have to drink out of a paper straw that disintegrates in liquid and Coca-Cola attaches their lids to the bottle so they don’t really close properly anymore. Well, guess what? I rip the lids off because ‘fuck it’.

    And please can we all stop going delulu over Labubus?

  • Some Might Say (we’re too nostalgic)

    Did you hear that Oasis have reunited (and it feels so good)? I’ll bet you have because from the announcement to the ticket sales fiasco to the opening shows that is all I know about the current music scene. Oasis have reformed and they’re on tour and middle-aged men are sticking on their bucket hats and sticking drugs up their noses (allegedly) and being Mad Fer It and re-living the 90s.

    Ah, the 90s when life was good and we were all so happy. No economic issues (apart from that recession in the early 90s and Black Wednesday), no wars (apart from the Gulf War, many civil wars, Al-Qaeda insurgency… look, I looked this up on Wiki and felt overwhelmed with despair so let’s not get into it), great snacks, great fashion, 5 TV channels, hey – no problems at all.
    Cool Britannia. Brit Pop. So much colour, everywhere, all of the time. No wonder grey is so popular nowadays. Although I do fear that the pendulum has swung too far away from colour. Have we never thought about the middle-ground?

    Look, I liked Oasis. I liked Blur. I liked Portishead, TLC, Madonna, Pulp, Sade. I have eclectic tastes. I even owned an Oasis T Shirt I bought on the Portobello Road. Because I was cool. And it was cheap and I lived nearby and we didn’t have the internet. And Woolworth’s still existed. And life was easy. BECAUSE YOU WERE YOUNGER. And now you’ve got kids/mortgage/knee pain (maybe all three. I just have knee pain) and you’re thinking about mortality and purpose and looking back is more comforting than looking forward. Guys, we’re here because we’re here. That’s the meaning of life.

    Oasis have reformed because they want all that sweet, sweet cash. I think this says more about the dire state of the music industry than anything else. Artists have always been the people who profit the least from their music. They used to make some money from selling their music and now they don’t. They make money from touring. From merch. They don’t even make money from streaming. Isn’t that absolutely bat-shit insane? But record companies make money, don’t they? They always manage to profit. Wankers.

    What do we do about this? Support local bands. Go to small live music venues. This props up local bars and pubs, allows music lovers to see live music without selling a kidney for tickets, supports talent and not corporations and maybe will make us all bring a little bit of the 90s to this god forsaken time.