Vicky Goes On (Again)

Tag: Life

  • Pumpkin Spice Lattes and fall (of mankind)

    The Commercialisation of Christmas Autumn

    I blame Starbucks. No, I blame the Americans. Hmmm, I suppose they made Starbucks so maybe I blame Starbucks. I blame Starbucks and Instagram and social media and white women and capitalism.
    Babes, it’s always capitalism.
    I agree that we all need to squeeze whatever pleasure we can out of the world and if you want a pumpkin spice latte and an aesthetic pic to post on IG with a browning leaf in the background then who am I to stop you? But, and do hear me out here, I feel like when all the corporations are getting in on the act maybe take a moment to pause and think, ‘do I really want this fuzzy pumpkin table decoration or am I just being sold stuff?’

    That was a long sentence and I apologise.

    We are always just being sold stuff.
    Do you like Autumn? Do you want to tell the world that you’re a GIRL who likes candles and hot drinks and pumpkins with bows on them (?) and burnt orange? Why not buy this piece of fast fashion from Shein (surprise!) for only £8. The thing is, that is a really nice colour t.shirt. Can I get that but without the nonsense graphic?

    What about a mug that only really makes sense for 4 months of the year (IF I’M BEING GENEROUS)? Again, that is a pretty nice looking mug. Let’s make it ridiculous. Because it is a *Season*. And, I get it, you are a company that sells stuff so you think of ways to sell stuff. That’s showbiz, baby. And Halloween is a fun, spooky time of year that somewhat acts as a barrier between Summer Fun tat and Christmas tat. Great. Except it doesn’t, not really. You just get Halloween AND Christmas stuff in the shops (and Thanksgiving stuff if you’re in the USA) so every corner you turn you see variations of this:

    Christmas pumpkin disco mayhem bauble.

    And the flavours! Oh the flavours you get. Like Willy Wonka in an Autumn fever dream. Cinnamon this, pumpkin that. Nutmeg, cloves. It’s never garlic and basil is it? Is it?

    Finally, pumpkin is not a spice. What spice is pumpkin spice? This isn’t about pumpkin spice, really.

    I’m tired.

  • Bank Holiday

    It’s the last bank holiday of the Summer and the weather is slowly turning autumnal. The leaves are falling off the trees and the air is getting a bit crispy and clear. Also, since it’s August, it means it’s the Notting Hill Carnival.

    Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m a curmudgeon about all sorts of things so don’t think that I’m singling Carnival out for any sort of ideological reasons. It’s just that I am from right near there and they always got in my fucking way. AND the shops locally try to rip off the locals thinking we’re carnival-goers. And the tube stations are exit only and the rubbish is strewn all over the bleedin’ shop.

    And another thing, some of us don’t want to stay awake listening to whistles, throbbing bass lines, and vuvuzelas (are they even still a thing actually?).

    I often wonder why I always feel so reluctant to get involved with bank holidays and summer fun. And I have realised that the reason I am reluctant is because everyone else is also there. I much rather have a random day off with a lot fewer people about. For someone born in London I sure don’t like crowds. Sidenote: I have just been having a conversation with the enigmatic flatmate where I just admitted that I find interacting with anyone at all a bit much. Sometimes. God, it’s hard being a human person.

    It’s not a bank holiday in Scotland or Ireland this week and that’s why i have always enjoyed visiting those countries during this weekend but in an effort to save some pennies I have not gone anywhere at all this year. And yet, I am still not a millionaire. I don’t even have Netflix.

    P.S. I want some barbecue chicken and I have been thinking about indoor, smokeless barbecue cookers. Who knew such things existed? What a world.

  • I ain’t being nostalgic but… (enshittification strikes again)

    I went for an eye test the other day and, in a rare positive of ageing, my eyesight is improving. This means I need a new prescription. A weaker prescription. Weird, huh? Well, things can only get better and then they’ll get worse.

    I’ve been wearing glasses since I was 11 years old. So only 5 or 6 years 32 years. I was reminded only today that there was a time when you could get spectacles within the hour. WITHIN the hour. Do you know how long my regular, boring, single vision, no coating, no thinning lenses will take? 2 weeks. One whole fortnight. Why? How have we regressed?

    I was watching a YouTube video (now, I warn you, the topic of the video is going to sound boring but we’ve been over this. I need to be distracted and I find myself watching no end of nonsense) on the decline of 24-hour Tesco supermarkets. And I thought, “oh yeah. That was a thing. An actual, real thing that did not exist, then did exist, and now no longer exists.” And, like, I get it. They’re not economically viable. But there feels like there used to be a time when things were done, services provided, goods made – not for profit (or not solely for profit) but because that was what was for the best for society, or the customer, or whatever.

    ‘Enshittification’ was coined by a science fiction writer, Cory Doctorow, about declining in quality of services. Usually this is about web platforms, e.g. Google. Have ya noticed how shit Google searches have become? I tend to add “reddit” to the end of my searches in order to get something useful. I know, but Reddit can be useful. When I first heard about enshittification I thought, “yeah. I see that. The internet ain’t what it once was.” But, enshittification is actually everywhere now.

    Police stations no longer have service counters in them, if they’re open at all. Glasses take several weeks to be made and even then the level of care, of customer service is severely lacking. I don’t want to sound like a Boomer but it used to be that opticians, shops staff, police officers, etc at least pretended to care about the services they were offering.

    In a world that is over consuming and over selling you’d expect that they should want to give us something more. But you know why they don’t? Because we accept it. We still buy the things and overconsume so who cares that it’s shoddier now? We’re still going to buy all the tat we want.

    In the 1950s fridges were a marvel. These basic goods were built to improve the housewife’s life. These were goddamned beauties.

    Just look at this

    And now what have we got? Smart fridges? HAH

    Greggs used to sell more than just sausage rolls. The other day I went in there to buy, admittedly, sausage rolls but I also wanted to buy, like, whatever else. A cookie. A sarnie. I was at a loose end and I had money on the app. Now they’re selling pizza and whatnot but they’ve forgotten that they’re a bakery. Do you think you can buy bread from Greggs? You’d think so, wouldn’t you. What with bakers famously making bread. You’d be wrong. Not a bloomer nor a cob in sight. It’s actually bullshit. (NB I still love Greggs though I do fear they’ve become rather overrated and they’d better knock it off).

    This all began when Freddos started being used as a guide for inflation. I do not think nor want to pretend that the past was better. It wasn’t. And even if it was – who cares? We’re here now. All I’m saying is that there seems to be a lack of care in the world. There are fewer and fewer customer care phone numbers and where there are you’ll be lucky to be answered within 20 minutes and for your call to be resolved. Everything is a hoohah and a palaver. And I am sick of it.