Vicky Goes On (Again)

Category: Life

  • Just thinking about dinner

    I used to live alone so ate a lot of ‘girl dinner’. For those not perpetually online this means snicky-snacky things that require little prepping. In my case I had Roast Beef flavoured Monster Munch and M&S Chicken Wings. And sweeties for dessert. I would often think, ‘hey, I need to eat actual healthy meals’ and do some food prepping and take a healthy lunch of leftovers to work. This would last 4 days. In any given week I would make maybe 3 dinners. Which is a high number of dinners. And the weight crept back on… so no more of THAT behaviour.

    In my defence, I was in mourning for like 4 years of the time of the time I lived alone, and now I am merely grieving* and I no longer live alone. SO. I think about what exciting dishes I can cook for myself and my flatmate. And he gets annoyed with my constant asking, ‘what do you want me to cook, man?’
    Here’s the thing. It is hard enough for me to actually cook the meal. I don’t enjoy cooking. I find it tiresome and dull. I enjoy the eating and I know I am a decent cook. I can cook more than 3 things. And I’m not even including beans on toast or Roast Beef flavoured Monster Munch and M&S Chicken Wings. So, that’s 5 things right there. But the main thing that bothers me about cooking dinner is the thinking about what to cook for dinner.

    My flatmate and I have a pretty decent set up. He buys the meat (because he’s a man?) and I buy the other things which make up what the heck the meal is going to be. You can do all these different things with, say, chicken breast. I often feel like a contestant on Ready, Steady, Cook (is that the one with the carrier bag of random ingredients?). Sometimes I’ll let him off the hook and just ask, ‘OK, what protein? GO!!’ and from that I have to create a meal. Sometimes I’ll say, ‘OK, with potatoes, with rice, with noodles, or with pasta? GO!!’ or ‘Chinese-y, British-y, Spanish-y or what? GO!!’
    It’s like living in a sitcom/quiz show/mildly perplexing comic strip. I don’t know, ask him what he makes of it all. He’s just grateful to be fed. And he mostly does the washing up so I think it’s a fair exchange if somewhat slightly sexist.

    Anyway, he’s going away for a week soon so I had better stock up on Roast Beef flavoured Monster Munch and M&S Chicken Wings. Otherwise, what on earth will I have for dinner?

    Dinner of champions (and depressed women)

    *I have a whole thing to say about the difference so stay tuned for THAT fun adventure into sadness.

  • Delulu for Labubu

    I am sick of overconsumption. Not only because of the planet’s inevitable death under a pile of plastic but because it’s just bullshit.
    This all started winding me up with those Stanley Cups. I first heard about them and thought, ‘surely people aren’t going crazy over a Canadian Ice Hockey tournament.’ And I was right. People were going crazy over REUSABLE (please note the ‘reusable’) cups. I’ll admit, I own 2 water bottles. But one is bigger than the other and I use them. Both. OK, I gave the smaller one to the flatmate but he uses it. Sometimes.
    We’ve lived through so many fads (fidget spinners, scoubidous, Cabbage Patch Dolls, etc etc etc) but the Stanley Cup broke me and the Labubus are twisting the knife. Not only are those cups like £65 (not an exaggeration) but people were losing their minds collecting all of the colours, and then they buy bullshit accessories to add to them. A little cap, a tray, a pocket you can stick on the side. Then there are special ice cube molds for them, because heaven forbid you use regular ice cubes. Like a poor person.

    And now Labubus.

    demonic keyring capitalist nonsense

    Those are Labubus. And they are stupid. Look, I am not one to yuck someone’s yum but they’re just transparently addictive bullshit. Their USP is that they come in blind boxes, i.e. you don’t know which one you’re getting until you open it. That is so obviously a means to fuck with our addiction and dopamine sensors that I am sickened that people continue to fall for this. I can’t blame the companies. They are capitalist pigdogs who obviously want to make all of the money all of the time. I am sickened by the people falling for it. Time and time and time again.

    Innocent little guy

    When I first heard of the Labubu I thought people were talking about Moncchichi.

    Moncchichi was an innocent guy and now he’s tarred by this nonsense. Maybe he was at the beginning of this nonsense but at least there was none of the addiction high-jacking. You know where you were with this little guy.

    And the Labubu shit isn’t just about buying nonsense toys. On the one hand “they” want us to recycle and use paper straws and then on the other hand they’re selling us all this fucking shit and, the thing that really gets up my goat, WE FUCKING BUY IT.

    On the subject of recycling – I watched as a street sweeper emptied the recycling bin into the general waste bin and then put all that rubbish into one bigger bin. So, answer me: what the hell is any of this even for? Anyway, they put all the responsibility onto the consumer whilst BP spills oil in the oceans, whilst Thames Water pump literal sewage into UK waterways, whilst Chinese factories pump goodness knows what pollutants into the air and literally undoes any and all green efforts. All this and I have to drink out of a paper straw that disintegrates in liquid and Coca-Cola attaches their lids to the bottle so they don’t really close properly anymore. Well, guess what? I rip the lids off because ‘fuck it’.

    And please can we all stop going delulu over Labubus?

  • I can’t get no sleep

    For the last 2 mornings I have woken up at 04:30*. In the morning.
    Prior to this, I had been waking up at 05:30. In the morning. THE MORNING. I know it’s Summer but where will this end? Next week 03:30? Then just not sleeping at all!? I AM EXHAUSTED.

    And yes, I know, the heat, I need blackout blinds, I need sleeping pills. Go to bed earlier, later, wear an eye mask, glue my eyes closed. I know. I don’t even really have a lie-in on the weekends, you know. I think I’ve become deranged.

    Did you know that a lack of sleep can actually, literally kill you? Well, if you didn’t know now you know. Did you also know that a lack of sleep can make you fall asleep in a busy office? Ask me how I know… (this is a made up story for humour and entertainment purposes. I swear.)

    So. What do I do? ummmm…


    Sleep hygiene tips:

    • Ensure you go to bed at the same time every night
    • Don’t doomscroll on your phone in bed (shut UP)
    • Take at least 30 minutes to wind down before bed time -_-
    • Block out the windows with black paint
    • Take at least 4 sleeping pills every night
    • Drink some whisky or whiskey
    • some of these might not be all that helpful
    • I’m losing my marbles
    • Take a siesta during the day. This is a human right and I have Spanish genes so surely I am being discriminated against if I am denied this

    Anyway, good luck out there. I love you. I’m tired.

    *I use the 24 hour clock to avoid mistakes on alarms which I clearly no longer need.